Loving Company
by hoenheim-of-light51
Summary: Thought of this because I was eating peanut butter, which is both nummeh and appaearntly sexual. FUN! XD EdRiza. Oneshot. Romance.


Tears were flowing down Breda's face, the same could be said for Falman, and Havoc was, as he almost always was, smiling a trademark smile. However, the Lieutenant's familiar grin was different in a few aspects: Rather than sarcastic or cocky, as Havoc's expression normally appeared, he was smiling in a manner decidedly consoling. His upturned lips were soft, much like the always quietly laughing eyes resting above them, and the visage they shaped was filled with pity, an emotion rarely associated with the always-carefree Lieutenant.  
The two soldiers whom the altered face beheld, however, were thinking little about the changes in their friend, as they made their way through Central, for they understood completely his reasons for displaying that unusual sympathy. In fact, it would have shocked them more if he had failed to change at all. After all, it wasn't every day that Havoc was granted the position he was in: The status of sympathetic witness to a woman's rejection of a man. As the two knew he was drawing his sincere emotion from vast stores of personal experience, they had concluded he was undoubtedly the best person to be walking with them towards the greatest bar in which to drown their sorrows.  
Havoc also knew the way to said tavern better than anyone else, and from his place between them, arms about their shoulders, he lead the procession.  
"Almost there, boys," Havoc assured them.  
Breda nodded, depression unrelieved. "I was so sure Alice and I were going to work out! Things were going so great and then…and then…We were supposed to go out to dinner tonight!" He sobbed as Alice's beautiful face entered his mind, the woman lost to him forever.  
"At least she didn't leave you for the Colonel!" Falman wailed. "I saw him and Julianne outside just _seconds_ after she dumped me!"  
"How do you know Alice didn't do the exact same thing!" Breda retorted with a sniffle. "You know how the Colonel operates! For all we know he's dropping off Julianne and is on his way to pick up Alice as we _speak!?_"  
"You're probably right," Falman dejectedly agreed. "Damn him! He's the only one who ever gets any action around here!"  
"He's the only one who ever will!" Breda cried.  
"_We're going to just die alone!_"  
Havoc shook his head as the bodies of his companions trembled, gentle smile still on his cheeks. From the corner of his eye, as his neck swiveled back and forth, he glimpsed the large park across the road. They weren't far now, distance judged by familiar landmarks and the memories of constant glances at his watch, and though it sounded insensitive, he was looking forward to their arrival. He had appreciated the presence of his friends when he had been engulfed in the same type of sadness as Falman and Breda, and he was glad to be there for them, now. Just as well, he knew some of what had been said to him during those similar times, and he was able to repeat it for them.  
"Now, now," he began, shaking them both lightly, playfully. "You both know you're not alone when it comes to relationship troubles. Sergeant Erickson's girlfriend left _him_ last week, and Major Armstrong's never even been on a _date._"  
Breda looked up at him. "Yeah…"  
Falman nodded in silent agreement.  
"And it's not just us guys, you know," he continued, seeing the well-known speech was having its desired effect. "I mean, just look at Lieutenant Hawkeye. She's so serious and uptight she'll probably scare away every man she'll ever meet! But you guys, you're nice and easy going; you've just hit a snag with those two. While every man runs from her scary attitude, every girl will be running to you to lift their spirits."  
"I…" Breda mumbled. "I guess you're right. Compared to her, we're at least not totally hopeless."  
Falman chimed in quietly, "Yeah. The only one she's ever shown any real emotion to is her dog."  
Though he hadn't felt bad at the start of their trek, Havoc's own mood was lifting right along with theirs. None of them had anything against the Lieutenant, but they couldn't deny that they felt better about their own luck with the opposite sex when they thought of her poor fortunes. They, at least, if nothing else, were approachable. Lieutenant Hawkeye was too intimidating for any man, and her standards had to be too high for anyone anyway. Considering that, as well as her dedication to her career, it was almost certain that her love life was in far worse condition than their own.  
"There you go!" Havoc smiled. Perhaps their toasts would be more cheerful than he had initially believed.  
In silence, but still with happiness, they continued to walk. Falman's back straightened just a little as they melancholy weight was lifted, and Breda's face was slowly becoming free of the sadness that had plagued him. Glad to see their progress, Havoc stretched his neck upward, the park once again falling into his peripheral vision.  
The warmth of his friends beneath his arms disappeared instantly, as his legs froze atop the sidewalk.  
Falman and Breda were a few steps in front of him before their comrade's absence registered in their senses, and they stopped. They first turned to each other, and then to Havoc, who was standing motionless before them, eyes focused on the park and jaw utterly slackened. Curious, they followed his gaze.  
Both were struck dumb on the sidewalk.  
On a bench across the street, built beneath what might've been the fullest, greenest tree in the park, Lieutenant Hawkeye was enjoying a late lunch, her figure lit by speckles of drops of sunlight falling through the leaves.  
Edward Elric sat next to her.  
Eyes of the three soldier trained upon them, Riza spoke, smiling, sandwich—homemade, Havoc guessed—in her hand, though her words were lost to the trio. Edward held half of a similar sandwich, a smile on his face as he answered. Still grinning, he proceeded to cram the partial meal into his mouth, its mass stretching his cheeks. He lifted up his hand as he chewed, spying a few splotches of peanut butter left behind on his gloveless left hand.  
It was that hand, to the soldiers' utter stupefaction, or rather the wrist, which Riza swiftly grabbed. Her gentle smile grew playful and alluring as she pulled his messy fingers to her face. Two of the soldiers watched the alchemist's face turn as red as his coat, the remains of bread and jam and peanuts sliding heavily down his throat. They all saw Riza Hawkeye's tongue slip forth from between her lips, press against his finger, and clean the delicious imperfection from his skin; their focus was so that they could even see his hand trembling at the lustful contact.  
She cleaned all his messy fingers in this manner until no peanut butter remained, and then winked. Edward grinned abashedly back, embarrassment and pleasure clear on his face, as well as in the way he entwined their fingers. Their loving eyes locked, and Riza's cheeks burned a light shade of pink. Edward broke the gaze abruptly, stubborn embarrassed frown replacing his smile as he tore his hand from hers. Riza paused, but seemed unfazed, and smiled to herself as she began to quietly munch her sandwich again.  
Falman was the first to look away, eyes fixing on Havoc; Breda then looked to Falman, and Havoc to Breda.  
"_We're going to just die alone!_"


End file.
